It’s been four weeks since the course started. Still suffering from a lack of English ability, I’m enjoying the course anyway. So today I’d like to write about studying English and studying in English. To be honest, I don’t like studying English. I really don’t understand grammar or these things. But the reason why I still challenging it is because I can see a lot of new world if I can use English properly. “New world” could have some different meaning, but what I’m trying now, studying in English, is one of them. I know, it’s really tough, especially if you can’t understand grammar or words critically, you need to stop your study and then need to start English itlsef, which means it takes so long. Precisely, it’s the same about studying in your mother tongue, but if you want to study specialised subject in higher education, it can’t be possible to understand everything just be reading one book. You have to read lots of references, hear lectures, discuss with mates, and then you will start understanding it a bit, and now when you try to express these interpretation in your own words, sometimes you can understand a bit more. That means…..you need to have an ability to process all these information in English in a reasonable speed. That means…..you need to study English beforehand. Sigh. I think how to study English is up to the person. In my case, I was so lucky to meet a really good language teacher. In her class, I tried to read, write and discuss as much as I could at that time. It was a very hard class, but I still appreciate the teacher. Another lucky thing for me was to be given a chance to use English in seminar. My final goal of language study is to be able to work as professional internationally. Study at that seminar was valuable for me as the first step of it. Well, I had some chances to use English at the office after BA, but I can’t remember how many times I had to cry with disappointment. Using English in society means a kind of real fighting. If your performance is not good enough as you are supposed to do, the result would be being snubbed, or being sympathised, or they would click their tongue and that’s it,…what a tough society. Anyway, experiencing these things, now I’m in London, but still feeling so disappointed by myself everyday. In particular, it’s so difficult to express my concepts properly, logically. Well, usually that disappointment leads to the next step though… After all it is still a practice before jumping into the society, I’d like to try anything before worrying too much. A little by little…..